May 2010 - Holly

I am a stay at home mom to two wonderful children, who are now 5 and 3. As of the Fall of 2009, we have put down roots in Abbotsford, where we finally bought our first home.

My husband Derrick and I have been married for almost 12 years. We married just 5 days after I graduated with my BA, while he was still in the midst of working on his Masters Degree in Counselling. The first couple of years of our marriage were, I suppose, tough financially; although neither of us ever felt it. I worked full time while he worked on his degree and worked part time. I remember at one point we were making it on $1200 a month. I still have no idea how we made that work, considering our rent was half that amount. But honestly, we never felt like we were suffering. We just knew we couldn't regularly go out to eat, go to the movies, or go on vacations.

Fast forward 6 years: We had our first child, a daughter. I had been working toward my accounting designation for several years, but decided to put my training on hold when our daughter was born. When she was about one, my husband decided it was time to pursue his Doctorate in Counselling. And so began the next 4 crazy years of our lives!

We moved from Abbotsford to the UBC campus and I stayed at home with our daughter, and our son who came along 1.5 years later. Living in UBC family housing was an amazing experience that I'll remember for the rest of my life. Living with hundreds of families from all over the world, and having friends and activities available at any time of the day was incredible. I'm sure we'll look back on those years as some of the best of our lives.

For the final year of his degree, we moved to Winnipeg for his doctoral internship. That was a very challenging year, being away from family and friends, yet knowing there wasn't time to put down roots since we were only there temporarily.

Finally, we've settled down for the first time in 12 years. It feels wonderful to have a home and know that we're not going anywhere. For the first time, I am able to focus on my career in a deliberate way. I love being home with my kids, but still having the ability to grow my business part time. I feel like I have the best of both worlds.

My advice to any mom trying to balance work, marriage and young kids (or any combination of the above!) is this: Go easy on yourself. This is the craziest time of our lives, and it's so easy to beat ourselves up trying to do it all. Scale back, and only do what's necessary. Don't think you have to be perfect in every (or any) area of your life. Do what's 'life giving', not 'life draining'. Try to treasure this time in your life and not wish it away. And of course, don't forget to put some of the focus on you, and what makes you happy.

Holly Klaassen

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