June 2011 - Anita

Hi, my name is Anita, I am a mom to a 4 year old, a step-mom to
a 5 year old, and will soon be mother to a little vessel growing inside of me-and set to emerge on September 5, yes this is conveniently enough, also labour day. I also feel as though I have another child, Kinder Café, a business I own that seems
to require the same demands that my children have of me…long hours, constant problem solving, nurturing, affection, and a lot
of attention! 

My journey into motherhood began on a rocky road…I became
a single mother when I was 3 months pregnant with my daughter. Luckily I had just managed to complete my Bachelor’s of Business Administration from SFU. I had made some poor decisions when it came to choosing a partner, which ended up in abuse, which then led to years of court battling to protect my daughter and me.  

My first year of motherhood was a difficult time, of post-partum depression, and facing the reality of single-motherhood. I know all of you mothers out there probably went through some slight depression when your world changed completely after giving birth. Your life became revolved around this little bundle of joy, completely putting aside your own needs (which used to come first). Being a single mother only compounds this feeling of isolation and depression.  During the brief 8 months I had on maternity leave I needed to get out of the house more than anyone, but I also noticed how non-baby friendly the world was when you wanted to get out! This is when the concept of a child friendly café first came to me. 

Since my daughter was 8 months old, I have had to work full time and consequently put her in day care full time. I wish I could have spent more time with my daughter, rather than at the office, but as a single mother, I really had no choice. I had entered into the male-dominated corporate world, where motherhood was not quite understood. Long hours were required of me, which put a strain on my emotional health, as well as that of my daughters.

The one wonderful thing that came out of working at this soul-robbing corporate entity, was meeting the love of my life, the man of my dreams, and the man who encouraged me to pursue my dream of opening a kid-friendly café.  And what made our relationship all too perfect, was the fact that we each also had a little girl of close to the same age.  They instantly became best friends, and my partner and I instantly fell in love. I had found my night in shining armour, a supportive partner who saw my talents and encouraged me to pursue what I was passionate for. 

Four years after the initial idea of Kinder Café had entered my mind, we opened the doors to this fine establishment.  On November 1, 2010, my dream became a reality and Kinder Café was born. But success was bittersweet…my father, who was living on the island, asked to come to my first day of business, but I had asked that he wait until our grand opening celebration, which was to occur one month later.  Unfortunately, he became very ill within the first week of Kinder Café being open, and was admitted to the hospital. He passed away from heart complications related to pneumonia on November 13, 2010, less than two weeks after we opened. I will never regret anything more in my life, than preventing my father from seeing what I had worked so hard to create.

Today, my lovely partner and I are now expecting our first child together, to be born in early September.  Our two daughters (who are now best friends) are very excited for the arrival of a younger sister or brother, who will unite our blended family. So now we are in our 8th month of operation at Kinder Café, while I’m almost in my 6th month of pregnancy….and just hoping I can make it through the summer, without too much stress.  I am now realizing the seasonality of our business, and am realizing just how difficult it may be to pull through the summer with a business like this.

In the meantime, I need to keep reminding myself that being a mother to my children is the most important thing, whether or not the business succeeds. I will always have my family, and I must always remember to put them first. I am so glad that I pursued the dream I have always imagined, and I will do my best, and that is all that I can expect of myself.  This holds true for motherhood, just as much as it does in the business world. Do your best at anything you do, and don’t stress yourself out to much.  Being the best mom in the world does not mean worrying and fretting over every little detail of your parenting.  The best thing you can do  for your child is give them hugs and kisses and enjoy every moment you have with them. They won’t be this little forever and you won‘t be around to see them forever!

Here is a great quote to live by when contemplating motherhood and judging yourself on how well you are doing… “Doing your best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” - Oprah Winfrey

Sincerely,
Anita
www.kindercafe.ca